my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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