Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
