Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize