just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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