All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I think my moral compass just broke
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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