Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
This baby is an asshole
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize