And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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