yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
