like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
