The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
