so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
