Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My vagina just recognized that song.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
