I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
All I want is dick and wine.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
