Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
