it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
