just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
