Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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