I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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