how can u be prego again
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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