I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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