What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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