I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
