I think I won the penis lottery.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
whose parrot is this?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
