Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
