Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
