I'm really into asian looking animals
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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