About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
