Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
