That's when you crack a 10am beer
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
