I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
