Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
