i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
