I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Randomize
