Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
