it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
