It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize