I hope mine doesn't look like that
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize