After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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