she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
