Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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