Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
