I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
