I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You pole danced in your parka.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
