That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
false alarm, still single
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
