Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
you inspire me to be a worse person
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
