So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
