i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Randomize
