I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i think i have two assholes
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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