How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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