if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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