She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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