this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
