u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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