you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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