I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My vagina is very pro this idea
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