I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
