I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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