It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I need water and some morals
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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