Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
